Did first day of Comm. Service today. No time on the elliptical but I didn't sit for 5 hours, walked around on cement all day and cleaned some really gross bathrooms. I'm exhausted and everything hurts. I need to drink more water tomorrow.

Today I got on the elliptical twice and tried to be more active around the house. It was so nice that on my second time around on the elliptical, I took the last 5 minutes and doubled my speed and it felt good. It was so nice, I felt like my old self a little bit and it's been a long long time. I didn't "focus" on my food but still ate considerably better and I felt in control but not stressed out. A good balance. I also found my stash of vitimins and I'm going to start taking some of those again. Super green food, vitamin D-3, capryl, Mind Set, colon ease, and that with my prenatal is pretty good for now. I have my echocardiogram tomorrow morning so that'll be interesting. Can't wait to feel even better. :)

I'm in the middle of something I'm hoping to figure out. Just give me a couple of days. I'll probably need help on this one...

1 cup oatmeal = 160
1/2 cup cottage cheese = 100
1/8 cup walnuts = 50
1 string cheese = 70
1 apple = 120
1 orange = 60
1 cup honey nut cheerios = 143
tortilla chips

Wow, I lost track of a few days there. In a nut shell here's what I ate, did and indulged in over those 3 days.

ATE INDULGED DID
Cottage cheese 2 brownies over 2 days Walked mall for 3 hrs
grape tomatoes raisin bran elliptical 10 min
delicious fajitas Whit's ice cream danced with Ben 1hr
oatmeal almond m&m's normal everyday stuff
organic granola bars 3/4 almond honey sandwich
string cheese

So as part of working this all in long run, I realized that I don't want it to seem "normal" as of yet. Which I figured would happen but I just had to see. I CAN say that I appreciated what I learned. The night I ate that brownie-holy cow my heart went crazy! You can know in theory that it's likely to happen but after four days of almost no processed sugar, it was like a messy jolt. My anxiety went through the roof and my brain felt like mud. It was just what I needed for an effective lesson. All as expected and it sucked. BUT I didn't feel that horrible craving, pull my hair out feeling so while I'm going to go back to counting calories, I need to SOMEHOW find a happy medium. "Balance" right? ugh...so here we go.

Day 4-

Total = 1442

1 cup oatmeal = 160
1 string cheese = 70
1 cup raisin bran + 1/4cup milk = 230
3 oranges = 240
14 grape tomatoes = 42
1 cup cottage cheese = 200
2 slices chicken with basil leaves = 100
1/2 cup almond m&m's = 400
100 + ounces of water

Day 3

Total = 835

orange = 60
1/2 cup cottage cheese = 100
apple = 100
1/2 apple = 50
string cheese = 70
1 cup oatmeal = 160
1/2 cup oatmeal = 80
1/4 cup 2% milk = 35
2 wheat thins = 20
4 walnuts = 40
20 grape tomatos = 60
orange = 60

Holter monitor on today. Not quite enough water. Can't exercise/sweat because of monitor.

Day 2

Total ; 1286

3/4 cups Oatmeal = 120
1 fuji apple = 100
1/8 cup walnuts = 90
lasagna = 500
garlic cheese bread = 180
peach cobbler = 190
salad w/low cal spray = 40
23 grape tomatoes = 46
granola bar crumbs = 20

exercise 1 time for 10 minutes at medium/high speed
Drank 64 oz. water

Total daily calories :838

Oatmeal = 80
3 pickles = 15
1/2 cup brown rice = 150
1/4 cup black beans = 55
4 peanuts = 25
1 string cheese = 70
3 grilled chicken strips = 150
1 cup cooked oatmeal = 160
20 cherry tomatoes = 60
5 almond m&m's = 73

Fit-tle Fat-tle

All right...I'm doing this...but I'm scared!!!!